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User:
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Hello, Ms?
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Advisor:
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What do you mean, Ms?
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User:
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I'm sorry I have a cold. I wish to register a BUG.
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Advisor:
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Yes, well we're just closing for some routine emergency disk
maintenance.
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User:
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Never mind that, my lad. I wish to register a bug, to do with this
Crow, which you sold me, not half an hour ago.
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Advisor:
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Ah yes, the MiCrowVax3. BEAUTIFUL syntax. What's wrong with it?
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User:
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I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's crashed, that's
what's wrong with it.
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Advisor:
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No, no, it's just pining for DEC...
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User:
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Pining for DEC? What kind of talk is that? This Crow is dead.
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Advisor:
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It's not dead, it's er, waiting for input.
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User:
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Waiting for input? Then why did it go "Interrupt ignored" when I hit
<Ctrl-C>?
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Advisor:
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The MiCrowVax likes ignoring things. BEAUTIFUL syntax.
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User:
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The syntax don't enter into it. It's demised. But O.K., if it's
waiting for input, we'd better give it some. HELLO, CROW! WAKE UP
CROW! I'VE GOT A NICE PROGRAM FOR YOU TO RUN IF YOU WAKE UP. <Ctrl-C>
<Ctrl-C> <Ctrl-C> <Ctrl-Z> <Ctrl-Z>.
Now, *that's* what I call a dead Crow.
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Advisor:
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No, it's spending some time swapped out. You caused it to swap out,
just as it was about to tell you something.
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User:
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Swapped out? Look here, sonny. When I tried this Crow earlier you
told me that its inactivity was owing to its being tired and shagged out
after doing some stuff for the Molecular Graphics department. Later you
assured me that its total lack of response was because Alan Casson had
just been using the terminal. When I got it home I discovered that the
only reason it was displaying the words "Connected to UKA0V01, GGR
GREENFORD MICRO-VAX A, PLEASE LOGIN" was that they had been daubed on my
screen with chalk.
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Advisor:
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Ah yes well you see, if we hadn't done that, it would have produced
*screenfuls* of stuff, VOOMPH, just like that, and you'd have missed the
VAX banner entirely.
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User:
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Look here, this Crow wouldn't VOOMPH if you wired it in to a Cray II.
See? This Crow is crashed; it's dead; bereft of life, it waits for a
crash dump. Its VMS is deceased. It is no more. It has gone to meet
its vendor. This is an ex-Crow.
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Advisor:
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Well I'd better replace it then.
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User:
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If you want the CSD to do anything these days you have to complain
until you're blue in the face!
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Advisor:
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Er, I just looked. We're clean out of Crows. I've got an 8700..
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User:
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Does it do anything useful?
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Advisor:
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Not really. It's a DEC product...
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